Generating Green Energy
Have you heard about the green bra that generates its own electricity? Believe it or not, this is not a joke. Here in Japan we take generating energy very seriously. And everyone is expected to do their part.
What? You haven’t heard about the solar-powered bra/drink dispenser? You can get all of the details here. Maybe I am tainted by Kubrick’s take on Andrew Burgess’ milk bar in Clockwork Orange, but shouldn’t this bra be white?
Is it wrong that I am excited about this green bra? I would love to start seeing green bras here in Japan. I am personally tired of seeing the ones with pink and black hearts and the ones with Hello Kitty on them…being displayed, in case you are wondering, by 20-somethings with bad taste in apparel, namely, not having enough apparel to cover up undergarments that are best left covered. Seriously, all these flashing bras and thongs are enough to make me start riding the elevator just so I don’t feel like a pervert when my peripheral vision is drawn to yet another flash. Apparently when barely covering their bodies in the morning they think not of just how steep the stairs in all of the stations are.
Back to the bras, I saw a news clip on the idea that our body’s ability to generate energy is the one major area of green fuels/energy production that isn’t getting enough focus. There is already a knee brace that generates enough energy to recharge your cell phone. They are apparently thinking about installing them in soldiers’ boots, to collect energy while they march. And back in 2006, Japan Railways was exploring the use of special pads in the stations between the turnstiles that would collect energy from the passing hoards.
It’s a good thing the Japanese green bra comes with solar panels, because given the general petiteness of Japanese breasts – based on my observations while riding trains – I just don’t see a lot of energy being generated there. On the other hand, if they would make a green thong…that might generate some energy. But I think the real hidden source of energy in Japanese females is in the feet. My greatest pet peeve about Japan is that it is considered perfectly acceptable for 20-something Japanese females to wear expensive shoes that are too big and thus make a unbelievably loud clopping sound as they go up and down the stairs in the train stations. It defies the laws of physics how such tiny women with toothpick-thick legs can make so much noise…and that it is acceptable. (For the record – not that I have tried it recently- it is unacceptable for foreign men in their forties to purposely stomp up and down the steps in a futile attempt to generate more noise than the pixy stix-legged 20-somethings.) Consider also that 68.3% of these Halloween-like noise makers come in three-inch heal varieties.
My thought, because I have time to think about such things, is that they could place these energy rendering contraptions in their shoes. A plug could easily be built into the stiletto heels. Following their stampede up and down the stairs they could simply shuffle over to the elevators and stick their stiletto heels into a special plug that would charge and run the elevators. With all this free energy, I could happily and with a clear conscience ride the elevator in peace and quiet and without seeing their undergarments…green or otherwise.
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