As I mentioned in The Toy Hunt, we found a new mall in Ikebukuro. In addition to the classy, well stocked and well manned Toy R Us, there was a Sanrio store. Sanrio is the company that holds the rights to Hello Kitty.
Hello Kitty stores come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. The Sanrio store in this part of Ikebukuro is a two-story deal. Most have the same standard fare: cups, jewelry, stuffed animals and pillows, pajamas and aprons, knick-knacks to attach to or put on your (Hello Kitty) cell phone, as well as the ever popular Hello Kitty candies and drinks. The size and location of the store will also determine the size of the special glass case full of the high end Kitty loot. Locked safely inside are the necessities of life for a true Hello Kitty fanatic: alarm clock, vacuum, toaster oven, waffle maker with waffles coming out in the shape of Hello Kitty’s head, blow dryers, curling irons, etc. The stores seem to consistently straddle the line between bizarre and weird while maintaining its simple pinkish cuteness (granted in an often tacky and cheap kind of way.)
For reasons I am unable to fully grasp, comprehend or explain, there are two Hello Kitty stores within three blocks of each other – much like having to Starbucks on the same street. We dashed in wondering what this one would have that the other one didn’t. Little did we know, we should have put on our pink Hello Kitty blinders because the only appropriate name for this store was Slutty Kitty! They had teddies; they had thongs; they had provocative bras; they had things I am too embarrassed to mention that were clearly in the skanky and “that’s a bad, bad kitty!” category. Of course, as is often the case, once typical boundaries have been broken, it seems only natural to look for something that redefines weird and moves solidly into the hideous and utterly unfathomable.
There can only be one place for such items. Yep, you guessed it: Hello Kitty Hell. Warning: Hell is a bad place and time spent there should be considered lost forever. Currently featured on Hello Kitty Hell is a Hello Kitty lawnmower; and I highly recommend you spend enough time there to find and look at the pink Hello Kitty assault rifle…Hello Kitty, ready for mercenary missions just like those Bakugan Battle Brawler thingies. And don’t forget, if you need help getting through those long cold winter nights, to check out the complete line of Hello Kitty lingerie…or as Peach John, the store next to Slutty Kitty, advertises: Lingerie is Love-Jewelry!