No Fear; Flush the Toilet

I was sitting on a train thinking today.  I went to kindergarten.  I went to elementary school.  I went to Jr. high school.  I went to high school.  I went to college.  I went to grad school.  And I taught for four years.  That is 24 “first” days of school.  Throw in the “first” days of school I have had as an SLP here in Japan and roughly three-fourths of my life has contained a first day of school.

I point this out because the first day of school is followed by the first week of school.  By the end of that first week, you have a pretty good idea of what’s what.  The tone has been set.

One of the little joys of parenting (There are joys of parenting, aren’t there?) is listening to your child’s impression of those first days.  Sachan, for example has decided…and this was after the first day…that her main teacher is real nice.  I don’t know why he is nice.  It could be because he is Australian.  It could be because when he runs out of wall space, he hangs papers on the ceiling.  It could be because the mini workroom between his class and the next third grade class has umbrellas hanging, upside down, from the ceiling.  Or it could be because he said he wouldn’t give them any homework on the weekends (overshadowing the truck load he gives Monday through Thursday.)

Samantha has decided that she likes her art teacher and that her art teacher is the best art teacher she has ever had…again, this after one day.  “Why?” you may ask?  Well, for the record, I have seen all of her previous art teachers in action and, well, the bar was pretty low!  “This art teacher,” reports Sachan, “tells you what to do one step at a time.”  I don’t know how these teachers come up with these revolutionary teaching strategies!  One step at a time…who would have thunk a third grader would pick up on that?  AND find it useful?  The music teacher has a room full of instruments.  And when I say instruments I mean real instruments that you would think of being heard in a band or orchestra.  I point this out because at Sachan’s previous Japanese schools, they made up instruments, like the glorified kazoo called a Harmonium, which is many things, but harmonious is not one of them.  The science teacher received Sachan’s approval as well because she has already told them what they are going to study for the next three months, the body, as well as laid out a class project to be completed by the first of November.

Yes, yes, yes, I know what you are thinking.  “Isn’t that what all teachers do?”  The answer, when speaking about the Japanese Education system is, “NO!”  Speaking of Japanese, Sachan came home after the first day and announced, in her own words, that “Hiyashi Sensei [her Japanese language teacher] is the most strict Japanese teacher I have ever had.”  I immediately called her on this, thinking that she had already forgotten about her second grade teacher, who clearly had horns, a tail, and fang like teeth…at least from my objective and non-biased observations.  Hiyashi sensei had made it clear from day one that she expected each and every kanji to written perfectly each and every time.  That by the way was not what made her strict…that is just standard procedure regarding kanji.  Hiyashi sensei had upped the ante…she is even requiring the little hooks that go on the end of some strokes to be present.

While Sachan was judging and summing up  her teachers upon first meeting them, her classmates were taking a bit more work.  Remember that this is the first time Sachan has been in a class where some children look  like her.  The first time every child in the class is proficient in two languages; not to mention the three children in her class that are proficient in three.   The first time she has boys in class since yochien…and you better believe I am watching every single one of those rascals; I don’t give a flying doo-dah how nice or innocent they look! And don’t get me started on the one that has the green hair!!

But I digress…

The other interesting thing is seeing what new words and phrases Sachan will come home with.  There is already an increase in the number of things that are “cool.”  I keep waiting for a “good on you mate,” or other such catchy Australian English inspired phrases to work themselves into her working vocabulary.  What I didn’t expect was her answer to my question, “What did you do in p.e. today?”  “Oh, we played flush the toilet.”  Is it only me, or does that sound like a preschool activity?  You can’t just let a comment like that go.  So of course I had to ask, “Sachan, what is ‘flush the toilet?’”

You know the response I got, yes?  The disgusted sigh.  The one that means, “I can’t believe you don’t know!”  At least she was willing to humor me and continue,”Well, the teacher picked three kids to be “It.”  And the rest of us were running around.”  (OH!  I know where this is going!  Kids running around in a circle….I get it!)  “And if one of the people that was “It” touched you, you had to stop right there and raise your arm like this (arm raised at a low angle above what would be parallel with the floor).  You had to stay that way until someone who wasn’t “It” came by and  flushed the toilet! (moved your arm down).”  I started to explain that was freeze tag, but lets be honest:  if we had thought to call it “Flush the Toilet” when we were in third grade, we would have!

These are the things I hear.  But these tend to be slightly different from the things Pam hears.  Don’t get me wrong, I made Sachan tell Pam about playing “Flush the Toilet” just so I could see the look on her face.  Yes, for the record, it was priceless.  The girls went to have their hair done Saturday.  While bonding over shampoo and green teas, Pam asked Sachan what she liked best about her new school.  Sachan pondered this for a moment and then responded very slowly and carefully.  “No one is afraid of me at my new school.”

No fear and toilet humor…what more can you ask from a new school?